grace

“What Did I Do Wrong?” – Reframing the Question That Breaks So Many Moms’ Hearts

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Parenting—especially parenting neurodiverse children—can often feel like a dance. Some days, the rhythm flows, and you're gliding with grace. Other days, it's like you're stepping on toes and trying to keep from falling apart. Either way, you're dancing with love.

A conversation I had recently still echoes in my heart. A fellow mom looked at me with tear-filled eyes and asked, “What did I do wrong?”  Whew. That one hits deep. If you've ever whispered that question to yourself, please know—you're not alone.
But today, I want to gently and lovingly offer a reframe. That question? It doesn’t serve you. It doesn’t honor the incredible, courageous, beautiful work you’re doing every single day. And more importantly, it doesn’t reflect the truth.

What if instead, we asked a better question—one that fills us with strength instead of shame:

 "How can I best support and celebrate the child I’ve been entrusted with?"

Because here's the truth: Parenting isn’t about perfection or fault. It’s a precious journey. And when you're parenting a neurodiverse child, it becomes a path of even deeper love, growth, and transformation.

Let’s shift the focus from blame to grace. From fear to faith. From doubt to discovery.

Here are a few truths I hope you’ll hold close:

1. Wrap Yourself in Kindness
Parenting is a long, beautiful marathon—filled with hills and valleys. Please don’t be your own harshest critic. Extend the same compassion to yourself that you so readily give to others. It’s not selfish to rest. It’s not wrong to need a moment.
Remember that flight attendant wisdom? “Put on your oxygen mask first.” That’s not just for planes—it’s for life. Your well-being matters. You can't pour into your child from an empty cup.

2. Celebrate Your Child’s Brilliance
Every child—every single one—is a masterpiece. Neurodiverse kids may experience the world differently, but that difference is not a defect.  Look for the strengths in them.  Maybe it's their curiosity, their creativity, their honesty, their tenacity. Focus there. Your belief in their strengths becomes the soil where their confidence takes root and blooms.


3. Embrace the Journey, Together
This path isn’t a straight one.  It has twists and detours. But those very turns are where connection deepens. When we walk hand-in-hand with our children through the challenges, we model resilience, grace, and unconditional love.
There is beauty in the becoming—both yours and theirs.

So, mama, to the part of you still wondering if you did something wrong—I see you. I honor that ache. But I also lovingly remind you:

You didn’t cause this.
You’re not broken.
And neither is your child.

You were chosen. Chosen to love, lead, and learn alongside your beautifully unique child.  Chosen to be their safe place and biggest cheerleader.

Let’s lay down the heavy burden of blame and pick up something lighter—hope, grace, and purpose.

You are doing the work. And even on the days that feel messy and uncertain, you are still enough.

Let’s keep walking this journey together—with open hearts, patient steps, and the unshakeable truth that love never fails.

You've got this.



Meet Kwame and Nakia Stringfield

 
Founders of See Beyond Consulting, LLC

At See Beyond Consulting, we believe that families—and marriages—can win, no matter what. Kwame and Nakia Stringfield are a passionate husband-and-wife team, dedicated to helping couples and families thrive through life’s challenges, especially those navigating the unique journey of raising children with special needs.

As special needs parents themselves, they understand firsthand how pressure, purpose, and parenting can collide. But through their faith, love, and intentional growth, they’ve learned how to rewire their mindset, lead with love, and build a fulfilling life—together. Now, they help others do the same.

Our Mission:

To help families and couples see beyond what is and step boldly into what’s possible—with clarity, connection, and purpose.

 Nakia Stringfield is the author of Rewired Parenting: Changing Your Mindset for Your Special Needs Child, a powerful resource for parents ready to shift from survival to strategy. With 27 years of experience in corporate leadership, Nakia brings expert-level coaching and practical insight into navigating change, building systems, and showing up strong for your family and yourself.

✨ Together, Kwame and Nakia offer faith-centered marriage coaching designed to help couples reconnect, communicate with love, and thrive in their relationship while parenting with purpose. Their approach is honest, hopeful, and rooted in real-life strategies for building a Rewired Life—together.

Kwame and Nakia have been happily married for over 27 years. They are proud parents of three daughters and lovers of life—Nakia enjoys long beach walks, while Kwame finds joy in drag racing and weightlifting.

📣 Services Offered by See Beyond Consulting:

  • Marriage & Relationship Coaching for Couples Living the Rewired Life
  • Educational Consulting for Schools & Organizations Supporting Special Needs Families
  • Coaching for Parents, Educators, and Leaders
  • Interactive Workshops for Strengthening Families and Communities

If you're ready to strengthen your marriage, support your family more effectively, or create spaces where special needs families can thrive—we’re here to walk with you.


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