marriage

How to Celebrate Your Spouse by Focusing on Their Strengths

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A Simple, Powerful Shift that Can Transform Your Marriage

“How do you celebrate your spouse?”

It’s a question many couples hear, especially around birthdays, anniversaries, or Valentine’s Day. But let’s reframe that question. Instead of saving celebration for calendar dates, what if we made it a regular rhythm in our marriage—an everyday mindset that focuses on our spouse’s strengths and intentionally builds them up?

I’ve learned this approach isn’t just sweet—it’s strategic.

As a mom raising neurodiverse children, I’ve become deeply familiar with the power of encouragement. In fact, focusing on strengths and celebrating small wins has become second nature. We’ve seen it work beautifully with our kids, and guess what? It works just as well with our spouses.

The psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar put it perfectly:
“What you appreciate, appreciates.”

Think about that. What you call out, what you celebrate, what you affirm—it grows. Everyone thrives under sincere encouragement. That’s not manipulation; it’s just how we’re wired. Compliments are like water to a thirsty plant. Appreciation is fuel for the soul.

And it doesn’t have to be grand or poetic. Just noticing and naming the good goes a long way.
  • “Thank you for taking care of that—it means a lot.”
  • “I admire how patient you were with the kids tonight.”
  • “You handled that work situation like a boss—I’m proud of you.”
We do this with our kids using reward systems—affirm the good, and they’re motivated to repeat it. But we forget that adults crave that too. Especially our spouses.

And in a world that majors in the negative, we have to be intentional about pausing to notice the positive. Reframing what’s happening in your home creates a culture shift. It tells your spouse:
“I see you. I value you. I’m with you.”

That culture shift can change everything.

Let me encourage you today—yes, it’s possible. Your home can be a safe place where celebration isn’t saved for special occasions. It can be daily. Gentle. Intentional. Full of life-giving words.

So instead of asking “How do I celebrate my spouse?” try this instead:
“What strengths am I seeing in them today?”
“What one thing can I affirm, even quietly?”
“Where can I pause and give honor where it’s due?”

Celebrate consistently, not just occasionally. You’ll find that your appreciation doesn’t just encourage your spouse—it enriches your whole home.  This is what my husband and I call the Rewired Life.

Let’s grow what we want more of.

Best Regards,

Nakia Stringfield
Rewired Coach

Meet Kwame and Nakia Stringfield

 
Founders of See Beyond Consulting, LLC

At See Beyond Consulting, we believe that families—and marriages—can win, no matter what. Kwame and Nakia Stringfield are a passionate husband-and-wife team, dedicated to helping couples and families thrive through life’s challenges, especially those navigating the unique journey of raising children with special needs.

As special needs parents themselves, they understand firsthand how pressure, purpose, and parenting can collide. But through their faith, love, and intentional growth, they’ve learned how to rewire their mindset, lead with love, and build a fulfilling life—together. Now, they help others do the same.

Our Mission:

To help families and couples see beyond what is and step boldly into what’s possible—with clarity, connection, and purpose.

 Nakia Stringfield is the author of Rewired Parenting: Changing Your Mindset for Your Special Needs Child, a powerful resource for parents ready to shift from survival to strategy. With 27 years of experience in corporate leadership, Nakia brings expert-level coaching and practical insight into navigating change, building systems, and showing up strong for your family and yourself.

✨ Together, Kwame and Nakia offer faith-centered marriage coaching designed to help couples reconnect, communicate with love, and thrive in their relationship while parenting with purpose. Their approach is honest, hopeful, and rooted in real-life strategies for building a Rewired Life—together.

Kwame and Nakia have been happily married for over 27 years. They are proud parents of three daughters and lovers of life—Nakia enjoys long beach walks, while Kwame finds joy in drag racing and weightlifting.

📣 Services Offered by See Beyond Consulting:

  • Marriage & Relationship Coaching for Couples Living the Rewired Life
  • Educational Consulting for Schools & Organizations Supporting Special Needs Families
  • Coaching for Parents, Educators, and Leaders
  • Interactive Workshops for Strengthening Families and Communities

If you're ready to strengthen your marriage, support your family more effectively, or create spaces where special needs families can thrive—we’re here to walk with you.


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